Good Morning Sunshine!

Holy Hannah! I, like, totally have, like, neglected writing! In a way I feel guilty and like I need to make excuses to friends about why I have completely ditched them. So by way of catching up on lost time I'll do some bullet points on what life has been this past year.

•  Massage school was an experience, not for the faint of heart. Did you know that if you wore a special rock you'd get extra good tips? Or that if you burned sage you were expelling evil spirits, or some ghosts have a thing for tinkering with toilets...That's why sometimes your toilet makes weird noises, it's not the toilet, it's the ghost...Question: do plumbers have so much passion for their job that after life they return to fix the toilet that would not be satisfied? Also, intestines are pronounced inTESTinTS! Yeah, like I said, not for the faint of heart.
• After six long months I finally finished massage school and I am now learning how to live in a completely different way then ever before. I call it Fredricking. If you have not read the child's book Fredrick by Leo Lionni then get it and read it! You my friend will be converted to Fredricking as well!
• To help get volunteer hours for college I've volunteered for the Utah Shakespearean Festival. Maybe I'm just an uncultured swine but I swear the dress they made me ware looks identical to this:

I'd say don't cry for me, but I suppose I did sign myself up for this type of humiliation....

• I know this probably sounds really strange, but how does one handle a random insect infestation? My bedroom has been host to dozens of spiders, a Jerusalem cricket, a weird over sized fruit fly thing, a beetle, and a currently I have this rolly-polly looking beetle running around on my floor...It's almost like it's trying to spell a message out to me. Does the universe work through bugs? (The message school answer would be, "WHY WOULD YOU DOUBT IT?! Beetles are some of the most intelligent creatures out there!") Maybe all of these bugs to have a message for me. Or maybe it's just the bugs living an Animal Farm experience in my bedroom. Weird.
• I was asked out on my first date! Then I was promptly ditched when my date found out that I didn't have my moms car or money. Between you and me, I really thought that my frequent showers were making a difference, and I was improving on my people skills. I guess not. His loss, 'cause I am just too cool! 
• Why go on a date with one guy that is only okay looking when you could go out with three brothers that are drop dead gorgeous and sit between the two hottest brothers?! (It was only awkward when my ditch-date showed up with another girl...Didn't know he had planned to go to the movies that night...)

Well that's enough of an update for now. I will come back and write some stories. Until then, stay away from insects, they are seriously apart of a conspiracy.