Monday, May 17, 2010

Check!

Summer is here! The time of year that I wait for! Summer has to be one of my favorite seasons and this is why:
  1. The sunburns. To many when you resemble a crawdad rejoicing isn't the word that comes to mind, instead phrases like these haunt our minds: Pain, idiot for forgetting the sunscreen, the lizard stage (that would be code word for the peeling stage..Nasty!), skin cancer! And many more related words; but what people don't always remember is that sunburns are usually products of attempted tans. Remember the days when it important to be white? Well I like to pretend that fish-pale legs are still in. The reason why I like sunburns is because while everyone is in pain and looks like they were soaked in beet juice I walk around in comfort and act like I try to have painfully white legs! (Someone once described the color of my legs like this: "Steph the belly of a white fish has more color then your legs!" Why thank you! I mean how are you suppose to kindly respond to that? "Yes they are but at least my comments aren't like leaches, slimy, blood sucking, and irritating those who are fortunate to hear them"? I don't think that would work out too well.) Even though this doesn't always work out for me it still brings comfort that Queen Victoria had to have whiter legs, I mean did those babies ever see the light of day? I'd say no! And look at what a successful life she had! Now John Wayne on the other hand died early, and I bet he had tan legs. See! I think I have the better half of the deal.
  2. Vocal Boot Camp! I love to sing. Okay that's an understatement! I adore singing! Singing to me is peanut butter to jelly, waffle to syrup, fries to hamburger, laughter to joy! I think you get the picture. Well in my little town we happen to have one of the best vocal instructors in the state of Utah! Her students have the highest reviews in state competitions and she leads the Messiah every year at Christmas. She's amazing and still that doesn't give her talent justice. This very morning I was accepted to work with her for five weeks of intense instruction! Three classes a week and that includes private lessons! (Okay so I wasn't exactly accepted I more like signed up, but you see she didn't stop me from signing up! So for my vanity please strike up the Heavenly choir for the next few moments of silence in celebration...AHH!...Why thank you!) So now I am jumping around singing songs of joy and laughing my head off. *Sigh* Yep next time you see me I'll be singing with Josh Groban!
  3. Swimming! The public pool here is dangerous...If you were to swim in the middle of a river infested with flesh stripping Parana's you'd be safer than at the public swimming pool here. (Those that were on the swim team 20 years ago now have health issues that are traced back to our pool. Oh joy!)The reason I love swimming is because I adore the feeling of water swirling around me, rearranging my hair, brushing my legs, twisting around my fingers; but when I know there's more diseases than water atoms in the pool that's doing those sweeping, twisting, playful movements on my skin the relaxed feeling ceases and you start to race to get the heck out of that medieval death trap! My alternative to a slow painful death is to go to a lake or reservoir, yes I swim in fish poop but hey at least fish of a scale swim together (okay that little twist on the 'birds of a feather' saying didn't really work out like I thought it would...My bad!). Swimming in a reservoir is so much more fun than in a swimming pool. Try it some time!
  4. Cousins! My cousins are my best friends and allies. We've been raised together and know everything about each other. Last year I have to say some of the funniest moments came from hanging out with my cousins.
  5. Adobe ovens! My cute aunt has always loved the idea of adobe structures and this summer she has decided to build an adobe oven to bake pizza in at mind blowing temperatures. So I signed up to help her with it since everyone else is too concerned about smooth hands! (Oh please I thought that smooth hands went out with white legs!) So here is the basic way you make an adobe oven. You gather rocks to mix in with the mortar and use as a base. After you collect the rocks you build a base. Once a base has been made you mix up the adobe mortar...I don't know what's in it but you add everything in a swimming pool and then you turn on music and dance around bare foot mixing it all together! (I saw a movie once where after everyone had gathered all the grapes in the vineyard they put them into a huge wooden trough type thing then the women would put on white dresses and dance around in it pressing the grapes and dying their dresses purple. I think it sounds fun!) Once you've mastered the Tango then you grab bags of sand and pour them on to the rock base and you start molding your mortar over the sand. Yep it sounds granola enough for me!
  6. Stargazing. For all eligible young men reading this, stars are romantic! A Walk to Remember testifies to this. I plan to have several stargazing sessions this summer...I just need a telescope so I can have a better look at those amazing little strings of light.
  7. Water fights. How else do you get your eight glasses of water in a day and still have fun? Duh! Water fights! I will warn everyone right now that I dominate water fights because of my deadly aim and strong throwing arm. I fully plan to grab a turbo 300 and slaughter everyone in my way with ice cold water. Beware.
  8. Road trips! Road trips are the essence of life, they bring satisfaction to lazy afternoons, and leave you with a sense of adventure. Believe me I've experimented with them, and through my detailed study I've found what to do to make a road trip memorable. Loud music while the windows are down giving the wind a chance to run its fingers through your hair. You either have to have loud music of no music. Because when you have no music you are give a chance to connect with your thoughts on a deeper level. Instead of thinking your thoughts you feel your thoughts all the while the wind stokes your face and leaves you with this feeling of pure love and energy. You also have to dedicate 20 minutes of your time to have opera blasting at the sage brush while you try to hit those ridiculous notes. It releases negative feelings, trust me.
  9. Bubbles and sidewalk chalk. Nothing says childish better than to have a teenager laying on her stomach making car sounds and drawing pictures of flowers all over the place. Have you ever noticed how beautiful bubbles are? Perfect circles that float through the air acting as a mirror to everything lovely and novel around you while they change colors from purple, pink, green, blue; dreamy is one way to think of these little balls of joy.
  10. Fireworks. The 4 of July to the average pyromaniac is explosives day! While the rest of us think of the Declaration of Independence and think of the sacrifices made for our freedom the pyromaniacs crawl away in their cameo, so as not to be spotted, with a bag under one arm containing anything that can be lit on fire, as they gather on top of a distant hill everyone shows their new favorite finds from the past year. The waterproof match, the light stick that will last up to one million strikes! Ect. After show and tell is done everyone pulls out what they brought to blow up. Stuffed animals, freezer burnt meat, the unwanted watermelon, compressed hair spray, spray paint, and what ever else the find suitable to send to the high heavens. (I imagine that more than once someone's cat was brought along for an adventure...) After everything has been ignited, sent on to the other side of their existence and shreds of the victims have been picked up every pyromaniac now feels like they have properly expressed their independence.
Yep, all of these things end up giving you bruises, scares and potentially lose of reputation if someone see's you doing your solo for Carmen, or if you start leaping across your yard in pursuit of a bubble, don't blame me. I'm just telling you what makes for a good time. Well this is Steph signing out to go accomplish the most amazing feats recorded in water balloon throwing history.