Love Letters...P.S. I Love You

"Wonder of wonders, miracles of miracles!" I, Stephanie, survived the ACT! Come to find out it wasn't an entirely bad experience. There was a guy in my testing room that was incredibly handsome! I dare say I have never come face to face with someone so good looking! So, if my score is worse then ever I'm blaming him for being a distraction.

In celebration of surviving I went to the store to get some Ben and Jerry's. Due to inflation I can no longer afford Ben and Jerry's. Great. There went one of my favorite things in life. So instead of buying it I stood there in front of the glass looking at it with great big longing eyes. When I thought I might start to cry I leaned forward and blew on the glass to draw hearts with my name and the ice creams name inside. There were a few sets of broken hearts. It was a tender experience...

With a broken heart I returned home, cleaned my bedroom and watched Colin Firth profess his most ardent love to Elizabeth. It never gets old. I think my favorite part is when he writes Elizabeth a letter to explain himself. But that got me thinking. I love Persuasion because of the letter that Captain Wentworth writes Anne. I love Edenbrooke because of the letter Philip writes Marianne. I go insane during "You've Got Mail" because the entire movie is about falling in love through mail! (Yes email isn't as romantic as a hand written letter, but you can't get too picky these days.)

I think it is high time that our crazy world goes back to writing love letters. So in honor of my new belief I will end this post with a love letter to Ben and Jerry's.

My Dearest Ben and Jerry's,

Once in a lifetime something happens that is timeless. Normally that thing is an iconic picture, but in this lifetime it was you. From the cows in Vermont, to a little nobody girl in Utah, your influence has been felt. I feel your presence everywhere! I'm never alone in my shopping because of you. When I feel overwhelmed  in the crowds of wal-mart, or sad and tired in the aisles of Lin's you are there to encourage me on ward.

I will always remember the day we met. It was over "Cake Batter" that I first fell in love with you. But it wasn't until I came to understand that you had "Berried Treasures" in your personality that I knew this was an unforgettable love. 

In the beginning many were happy with what you brought to the table, but as the years have worn on several friends have forsaken you saying that Haagen Dazs was the new black. 

Even when the heat was on I never allowed my love for you to melt. The icy hold you have had on me will always be. From the hot summer months to the blistery winter I will always remain loyal to your cool needs.

Yours Longingly,
Stephanie

Three Wishes

Friday night. I should be out on the town having a party. Instead I lay on my bed dreading tomorrow morning as though it was an executioners sentence. Stupid ACT. (Why must there be standardized testing anyway?) So tonight instead of doing my usual weekend traditions I'm pondering on what I'd do with three wishes.

What would I do with three wishes?

1. I'd first wish for an unlimited amount of money, so that I could make choices in my life without having money stop me. With my money I'd travel the world. Attend the school of my choice without worrying about scholarships and I'd probably get myself a real pearl necklace. I've always wanted one.
2. With my necklace in hand I'd wish for my second wish: incredible intellectual and social talent. How many times have you been in an awkward social situation where you simply couldn't think of a good response until hours later after you've replayed that moment several times in your head? And let's be real, to be truly socially talented in the dating world never hurt anyone...Maybe I should ask for a first date for my second wish? Oh who cares?! Knowing me I'd probably do something really embarrassing...
3. I'd ask for the perfect ending to my story and the courage to make it happen. On second thought I'd ask for a time travel machine so that I could go back in time and relive those perfect and hilarious moments. Or at best fix this accident of nature that I wasn't born at the same time as Jane Austen. I think we would have been kindred spirits if given the chance. 

Okay, I'm done feeling sorry for myself because I have to take the ACT. But really, if you had three wishes what would you wish for?

Good Morning Sunshine!

Holy Hannah! I, like, totally have, like, neglected writing! In a way I feel guilty and like I need to make excuses to friends about why I have completely ditched them. So by way of catching up on lost time I'll do some bullet points on what life has been this past year.

•  Massage school was an experience, not for the faint of heart. Did you know that if you wore a special rock you'd get extra good tips? Or that if you burned sage you were expelling evil spirits, or some ghosts have a thing for tinkering with toilets...That's why sometimes your toilet makes weird noises, it's not the toilet, it's the ghost...Question: do plumbers have so much passion for their job that after life they return to fix the toilet that would not be satisfied? Also, intestines are pronounced inTESTinTS! Yeah, like I said, not for the faint of heart.
• After six long months I finally finished massage school and I am now learning how to live in a completely different way then ever before. I call it Fredricking. If you have not read the child's book Fredrick by Leo Lionni then get it and read it! You my friend will be converted to Fredricking as well!
• To help get volunteer hours for college I've volunteered for the Utah Shakespearean Festival. Maybe I'm just an uncultured swine but I swear the dress they made me ware looks identical to this:

I'd say don't cry for me, but I suppose I did sign myself up for this type of humiliation....

• I know this probably sounds really strange, but how does one handle a random insect infestation? My bedroom has been host to dozens of spiders, a Jerusalem cricket, a weird over sized fruit fly thing, a beetle, and a currently I have this rolly-polly looking beetle running around on my floor...It's almost like it's trying to spell a message out to me. Does the universe work through bugs? (The message school answer would be, "WHY WOULD YOU DOUBT IT?! Beetles are some of the most intelligent creatures out there!") Maybe all of these bugs to have a message for me. Or maybe it's just the bugs living an Animal Farm experience in my bedroom. Weird.
• I was asked out on my first date! Then I was promptly ditched when my date found out that I didn't have my moms car or money. Between you and me, I really thought that my frequent showers were making a difference, and I was improving on my people skills. I guess not. His loss, 'cause I am just too cool! 
• Why go on a date with one guy that is only okay looking when you could go out with three brothers that are drop dead gorgeous and sit between the two hottest brothers?! (It was only awkward when my ditch-date showed up with another girl...Didn't know he had planned to go to the movies that night...)

Well that's enough of an update for now. I will come back and write some stories. Until then, stay away from insects, they are seriously apart of a conspiracy.